weaker

I can't hold back my tears anymore when I heard your voice, I don't know why. I want myself to be strong, and even stronger..but whenever I meet you, or just by hearing your voice, I can be very very weak immediately. Just feeling to rely on you for the rest of my life, but I know I can't, cause you got your own life and it's my own life which I have to live it my own.

Thinking about it again, it makes me feel even weaker. Crying is not wrong, I know. People have been telling me for like thousand times. But to me, I broke my first rule, no tears. Cause if I just dropped the tear for once, I know I need a long time to recover. That's the reason why I never let myself to cry.

I tried to chill myself. Catched a comedy and laughed out loud, fooled around, eat my favourite food, have a long warm shower. Yet, things never change better. Still a dead soul.

Where's my spirit? the Grace dignity..where is it